Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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why did the puppy poop? he had too

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"33"

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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pickle sniffer

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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This is not a joke

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? -Its a chicken you dumb shit.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

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How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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knock knock piss off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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