How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

A ginger was with his friends

A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

HI MY NAME IS DOUG

Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

What's the difference between? Your mom.

What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

Yo Mama is so fat that she has to wear large clothes.

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

Bumsniffer

What worse than the holocaust? Danny's.

Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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