A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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the love boat

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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im a dragon, no im not

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

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Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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