What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

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There was a little girl who went on a walk. She was about 8 years old. An old green stationwagon pulled up to the little girl. He said,"Need a ride?" She shook her head and climbed in. 2 weeks later she was found dead in a ditch. She was raper and murdered

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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What do you call a black man with a wooden leg? A veteran.

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What came first -- the chicken or the egg roll?

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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kieran scott peels his off his foreskin while he watches hentai porn then he eats it afterwards, he is also on roids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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