What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

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What did the Russian scientist say to the British scientist when he saw two black guys enter a strip club? "Two black guys entered the strip club"

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

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Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

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a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

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Donald Trump

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Priority parking for hybrid cars

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said, who's there? KNOCK KNOCK OH MY GOD, WHO IS IT??? Yes, we have your daughter here, she was caught doing drugs on school property.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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Why were trash man's hands dirty? He got shot in the leg and desperately tried to get the bullet out with his hands and got blood all over them and ass he was running to the hospital he tripped into shit.

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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