What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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Why did Lebron go to Miami? Because Chuck Norris told him to.

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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How many spiders dose it take to cover a wall? Four, if they are 7 feet tall

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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What do you say to a black man on the street? Hello.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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