What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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?"what's up" "A preposition"

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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400 asian people walked in a bar

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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Jews...

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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