Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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I'm tired of your blind jokes, I just don't see the humor in them........

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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