Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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