Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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