Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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This is a racist joke but who cares!? What is the difference between a black guy and a bag of shit? The bag I apologize to all my fellow black friends. -Lets go MEts

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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