Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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vaginas are pretty!!!!

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A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

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Knock knock Who's there? No Who is over there

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops