Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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What worse than the holocaust? Danny's.

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charlie sheen losing

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NO! Nero created the MULTIVERSE During the sixth day... And on the seventh... He did not get any sleep or rest either...¨ SO THE GREAT EXPLOSION OF ENDORPHIN'S WAS CREATED AND IT WAS GOOD! Moral:"Seriously, get lost, only the trio of the Gods Me,Myself, and I, are worthy of this tribulation!

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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;aosughdfo

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How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

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HI MY NAME IS DOUG

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What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

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Q: What's small and can't read? A: A candybar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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