What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

A Jew! Bless you.

What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

Q: What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? A: Popcorn Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? A: F'uck you -Ap

so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

Why Do Girls Have holes?? For the guys poles.

roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

What's the difference between Vagisil and Black People? They are disgusting!

An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

What is red and bad for your teeth? A BRICK!!

Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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