what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the kid fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? Because he had no legs. Knock, Knock Who's there? Not that kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock get lost!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Andy Carrol

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops