I had sex with my mother in law

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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Sarah Palin

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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A black guy walks down the street. He sees a lamp, picks it up and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he has 3 wishes. The black says he wants to be thin, white, and get alot of pussy. The genie says, congadulations your a condom!!

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

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Women's rights.

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What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What's the difference between a bike and a black man? I don't know how to ride a bike.

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How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

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What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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