So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

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How many beavers can you fit in one paddling pool? None; it's probably very dangerous trying

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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If an ear could talk what would it say? Probably nothing because it doesn't have a tongue...

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Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

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Guess What! HI!

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Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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What's that in the road.... a-head?

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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Q. What happened to the kid with 1 arm and 1 leg and 1 arm and 1 leg A. He had a seisure, then got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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