A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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jacob mckeand sucks his own dick, lol jokes, he has jamie for that

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Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

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like a someboyyyyyyyyyyyy

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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try slamming a revolving door

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what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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Why did the black guy jump over the fence ? The holocost.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops