What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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XD, Okay, but you gotta marry me too XD Its working again I am skipping class tonight, how about you come by uh, the day after tomorrow? And bring condoms I don't have any.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

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Knock knock Come in

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25

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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69

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whats the best thing about polio...death

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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Anyone??????????/

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Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

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What do u call old black people in a shed? antique farm equiptment

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You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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John and Henk are walking down the street. John kills a man, the cops are coming and John runs away. Why didn't Henk ran away? Henk was a rock

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

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http://richardfigures.com/

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Take this and put it- No.

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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