how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

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Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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Whats black and hangs from the my tree? A tire swing.

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

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Donald Trump.

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A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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