Q: Whats the longest book in the library A: Understanding Women

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A woman went in the kitchen and made you a sandwich.

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4-4-2

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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Knock knock What?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

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What do you call a medical student who finishes last in his class? Doctor.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

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Redneck girls. Now there's a joke.

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why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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Shaniqua: Knock knock Random black guy: Who is there? Shaniqua: It's me your girlfriend I had a really nice meeting with my dick Random black guy:What?

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops