A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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Whats black and hangs from the my tree? A tire swing.

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

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Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

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A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

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Donald Trump.

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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