What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +42

So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

thumb_up thumb_down +40

have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

thumb_up thumb_down +40

If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops