How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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Q: Why did the black man call the white man a rasict? A:because he called him black.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

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What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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http://richardfigures.com/

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A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

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what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops