What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What do you call a fat kid who eats twinkies. Otto Hintz`````

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Romans rights.

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What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

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A mexican pedophile stalks a child home. He molests him.

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What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

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A brunette is walking up the side of a river. She sees a blonde on the other side. "How did you get to the other side?" asked the brunette. "I used the bridge just a few more kilometers up" the blonde replies.

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

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Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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What starts with N, ends with R, and is a black guy? NeighboR!

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Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter W

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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