A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

thumb_up thumb_down

What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -14

69

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

thumb_up thumb_down -48

How do you call a black man? By his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down -124

What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

?"what's up" "A preposition"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops