Why did the moron jump through the window?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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666

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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