Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

How do you call a black man? By his first name.

Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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