Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

thumb_up thumb_down +3

obamas trench

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

thumb_up thumb_down -155

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +162

Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops