I'm tired of your blind jokes, I just don't see the humor in them........

"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

69

Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

The Bible

Why is your face? Because.

*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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