I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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?"what's up" "A preposition"

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Mexicans are like waffles

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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1,984

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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