knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

thumb_up thumb_down +50

why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

thumb_up thumb_down +48

I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

thumb_up thumb_down -164

Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -192

Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +225

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

thumb_up thumb_down +77

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops