Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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1,984

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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