"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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385

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?"what's up" "A preposition"

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Mexicans are like waffles

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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Get in the car.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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