A man walks into a bar... who cares what happens after that Charlie Sheen is winning and Osama Bin Laden is dead

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

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How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

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Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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So many dudes win with your mom who even knows if i'm your father!!

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Why did Lebron go to Miami? Because Chuck Norris told him to.

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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How do you differentiate a Canadian from an American ? The American will have an American Passport,while the Canadian will have a Canadian passport.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops