An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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What's worse than getting AIDS? Nothing.

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Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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9

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

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a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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Sarah Palin

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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A black guy walks down the street. He sees a lamp, picks it up and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he has 3 wishes. The black says he wants to be thin, white, and get alot of pussy. The genie says, congadulations your a condom!!

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What's the difference between a bike and a black man? I don't know how to ride a bike.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops