A black guy walks up to the cash register at a gas station with his hands in his pockets... He pulls out a 5 dollar bill and buys a pack of gum.

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

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What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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A whale's vagina

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

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A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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Yo mama's so fat, that she's fat.

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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So a blond is rowing a boat in the middle of the field. It turns out she was insane and was trying to escape from the sanitarium.

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what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

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Women's rights

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why was the man crying in prison? He missed his family and wanted to go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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