A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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This is a joke setup.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

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Guess what! what haha u listened to me

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Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

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whats worse than 8 babies nailed to a tree? nothing but oca mom is going to be pissed that her kids are nailed to a tree

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing duplicates of the top jokes.

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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We are lawyers

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What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Probably

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

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Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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