What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

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two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

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What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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69 :)

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Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

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BIM slowly fucks old women in the dark so they think its rape then he slips his hand up there ass and rips out there heart

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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once upon a time y o u m a d BIBIBIDYYEAHBIIBAIDYEAH THAT'S ALL FOLKS

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

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a black man kills a family member of a mexican guy. the mexican guy goes to the police, what happens? The mexican guy gets deported back to his country after they realize that he was illegal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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