A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

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There's a car about to hit me.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Trashcan!

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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I dont know if you know this but i have a penis

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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What number is funnier than 23? 24.

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Yo mama is so depressing. That is so sad.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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