"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it followed the trail of bird feed strewn across it.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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Why was the young black boy kicked out of his classroom? Because the manner of his actions were inexcusable.

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Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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Cancer

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

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What did the Chinaman say to the other Chinaman? I dont know, he was speaking in Chinese.

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What do you call a white man in the middle of Mexico City? Dave.

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why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

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A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

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why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

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What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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Q: Whats the difference between a watermelon and a infants head? A: One is fun to beat a with a hammer, and the other is the infants head.

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your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "I'm your dog. Please stop having sex with me on Chatubate."

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What do you call an Arab with a long beard? An Arab with a long beard you stereotypical piece of crap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops