"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Man: Guess what! Other man: What? Man: Chicken butt

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

thumb_up thumb_down -27

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A black guy walks into a basketball court.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Osama bin laden plan 9/11? Same reason Justin bieber was born....

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well you shouldn't be. I came to tell you your family died in a car crash and you have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Hitler, Goebbels and Göring walked into a bar. They ordered 3 steins and took their seats in quiet corner of the establishment. After short deliberation they were ready to start work on building a highway that would be the envy of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

whos the bitch now!?! you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops