Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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the love boat

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because it's a free country chickens are free to do as they please

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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Dance is a sport

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

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1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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