A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A muslim and a jew meet each other in a dark ally...... they give each other strange looks because they are both in a dark ally.

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Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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Why did the chicken cross the road It didint make it across

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

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What do you call an indian driving a plane? A pilot.

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What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

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Why was a refrigerator sitting on a part bench? Because someone set it there.

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What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

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What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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men's rights.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 murdered her little sister

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What do you call it when a cave man pisses himself running from a t-rex? Historically incorrect.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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Why couldn't Paul see. He got stabbed in the eye by two mexicans

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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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What's the difference between slavery and the Holocaust? Slavery happened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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