What do you call a pencil that's been broken in half? 2 pencils

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A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

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tuna fish dolphins sharks idk

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if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

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What's black, white, and red all over? An ovulating mulatto woman.

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What do you call a black pilot? A niigger

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

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A woman walks into a bar and hits it off beautifully with the young man sitting close to her. They exchange numbers, and even a small kiss before she departs. He follows her home and eats her.

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

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When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

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Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

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just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

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Wanna hear something funny? Sure. Okay,cool

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well, he graduated in 4 years with a degree in chemical engineering due to his diligence and good work ethic. He now has a well paying job that allows him to support his wife and two kids and to pay the mortgage on their large home.

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What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

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Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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So a mouse walks into a bar....the bartender immediatly kills it because he doesn't want another C rating by the sanitation department.

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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An asian, black man and a white guy are stranded in a desert with no food and no water, so what do they do Die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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