Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

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WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

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If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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Yeah, I never intended to keep that a secret. What is autocast?

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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What is the difference between a girl and a woman? Age

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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Where did Little Sally go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Knock Knock *opens the door*

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

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What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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