How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

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Knock Knock Dude there is no door

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

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What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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TWATFROST HOLOCOSTME sOME MONEY TO GET A BOOB JOB HAHAHAHA BALOWJOB

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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The Detroit Lions

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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How do you make a clown sad? Rape his wife, choke his grandma and send him a video of you setting his children on fire.

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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