Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

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Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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Women's rights.

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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i'm funny

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

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Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops