A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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i like how everyone hates a german version of an antijoke but no one has aknowleged the english one

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

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What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Cruchie.

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

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How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

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Justin's hair

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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