A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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poop

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

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What is something you would not normally find in a china cabinet? Japan

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Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

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This is a joke setup.

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Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

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Why does Frank hate Jim? He killed his son.

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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