What does Snoop dog wash his clothes with Bleach

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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How do you get 100 illegal immigrants into a furnace? Tell 'em it's England.

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

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What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

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A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

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What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What time is it? Refrigerator

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Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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you: "hey, is your refrigerater running?" random, confusded individual: "yeah" you: "oh."

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Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a known serial killer.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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F Detroit! I'm more of a Bulls fan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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