Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

your mom died.

A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

Where did Little Billy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

a man walks into a bar. ouch.

Billy Cundiff.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

An asian, mexican, and a black guy walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "get the hell out"

Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

TWIX PAUSE!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia Roses are red

Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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